Today in my biology class, we watched a video on psychological evolution. The scientists set up this experiment to test olfactory senses. The experiment called for a group of young men to wear the same white t-shirt for several days without washing it. As the days past, their unique biological "musk" was infused into the shirt. Then, a bunch of ladies were asked to smell the shirts and see which one they found more appealing. As it turns out, ladies found shirts from young men with opposite biological genes more appealing. This means many different things including ethnicity. But they found them more appealing because when people with different genes mate the offspring are more diversified and therefore "stronger" than the parents. The smaller the difference in genes, the weaker the offspring's genes will be. This explains why children whose parents are different races are healthier and, to some degree, more attractive than those from the parents of the same race. So the women are smelling a mate who would provide the strongest offspring. And while the appeal is subconscious, it is strong and convincing nontheless. This isn't a case for "opposites attract" though because this is based around science while that idea is based around nonsense.
Anyway, after watching the video all I could think about was that stupid old man from those eHarmony commercials. You know the guy. He stresses "compatibility" in relationships. Some degree of me believes him but I still see him as a stupid old man who profits off of love, which to me seems terribly morbid.
But it's funny. Our culture does stress compatibility in relationships yet nature stresses difference. Subconsciously we may find someone appealing from either sight, smell, touch, or taste, yet our brain is telling us that another person is better because said person is more like ourselves. Perhaps this is why everyone is so fucked up. We are being pulled in so many goddamn directions we just don't know what to do. Thanks, life.
12 May 2007
07 May 2007
Required Reading
I work at Fridays and as a result I must interact with the scum of society. After 10pm, the IQs of the customers coming in drops a solid 50 points and I'm left to translate what they think they are reading on the menu. I don't even know what reading level a menu is but it can't be higher than a 3rd grader's. And now I'm sad because so many of these people seriously cannot read a fucking menu. Christ.
Here are two examples from tongiht that made me doubt the future of our species:
Scene 1
Customer: "Gimme that Toucan (as in the tropical bird) Chicken Sandwich"
Me: "You mean Tuscan (as in the place in Italy) chicken sandwich?"
Customer: "WHAT?!?!!"
Scene 2
Customer: Gimme that Chedder (as in the cheese) Salmon Pasta."
Me: You mean cedar (as in the wood) salmon pasta?
customer: WHAT?!?!??!
And I have to correct them not so that I look superior to them, but simply to set expectations. They guy who wanted the Toucan Chicken Sandwich might actually expect a fucking jungle bird in between a two buns. As ludicris as that sounds, I just don't want to disappoint people. And if they get it and it's not a toucan they are eating, they will get upset. And then I have to explain to my boss why they didn't want it. "Oh, yeah, he thought it was Toucan and it's not Toucan. i don't think Perdue sells Toucan meat."
What would be even wierder is if the guy actually could taste the difference between Toucan meat and regular chicken meat. Like if I just didn't want to get into a fight with the guy and he's like, "Is this toucan?" I'm like, "Yeah. It's toucan meat alright." And then he bites into it and is like, 'This is very low quality Toucan meat". That would blow my mind. If that happened I would just admit to the guy that it's not toucan meat and that I was lying simply because he knew the difference or had at least tasted high quality toucan meat.
But it is embarrassing. These words are not to difficult to spell. The cheddar one really gets me. I know english is hard sometimes. Like when does a "c" sound like a "k" or an "s"? But come on. "Ch" makes the "ch" sounds. That's it. There is no "h" in cedar. I'm so accepting of that ambiguous "c" sounding rule that if they said "Keeder" I wouldn't correct them. But again, I can't let them think that they are going to get a pasta with cheddar cheese on it because when they don't they will get upset and then I have to explain to my boss that they don't have to pay for thier meal because they can't read.
Also, it should be noted somewhere (I suppose this will do) that if you're working at Fridays and someone orders a Strawberry Lemonade Slush, it should be assumed that they will NOT tip you.
Here are two examples from tongiht that made me doubt the future of our species:
Scene 1
Customer: "Gimme that Toucan (as in the tropical bird) Chicken Sandwich"
Me: "You mean Tuscan (as in the place in Italy) chicken sandwich?"
Customer: "WHAT?!?!!"
Scene 2
Customer: Gimme that Chedder (as in the cheese) Salmon Pasta."
Me: You mean cedar (as in the wood) salmon pasta?
customer: WHAT?!?!??!
And I have to correct them not so that I look superior to them, but simply to set expectations. They guy who wanted the Toucan Chicken Sandwich might actually expect a fucking jungle bird in between a two buns. As ludicris as that sounds, I just don't want to disappoint people. And if they get it and it's not a toucan they are eating, they will get upset. And then I have to explain to my boss why they didn't want it. "Oh, yeah, he thought it was Toucan and it's not Toucan. i don't think Perdue sells Toucan meat."
What would be even wierder is if the guy actually could taste the difference between Toucan meat and regular chicken meat. Like if I just didn't want to get into a fight with the guy and he's like, "Is this toucan?" I'm like, "Yeah. It's toucan meat alright." And then he bites into it and is like, 'This is very low quality Toucan meat". That would blow my mind. If that happened I would just admit to the guy that it's not toucan meat and that I was lying simply because he knew the difference or had at least tasted high quality toucan meat.
But it is embarrassing. These words are not to difficult to spell. The cheddar one really gets me. I know english is hard sometimes. Like when does a "c" sound like a "k" or an "s"? But come on. "Ch" makes the "ch" sounds. That's it. There is no "h" in cedar. I'm so accepting of that ambiguous "c" sounding rule that if they said "Keeder" I wouldn't correct them. But again, I can't let them think that they are going to get a pasta with cheddar cheese on it because when they don't they will get upset and then I have to explain to my boss that they don't have to pay for thier meal because they can't read.
Also, it should be noted somewhere (I suppose this will do) that if you're working at Fridays and someone orders a Strawberry Lemonade Slush, it should be assumed that they will NOT tip you.
05 May 2007
The Bush Mystique
This article is not about the president or the plant. No this article is about the band with that English guy. I was listening to Bush today and thought to myself, "They are pretty good". But I've never met someone one who told me that Bush was thier favorite band. Why is that? What's wrong with them? What surrounds Bush to attract fans only to a certain point. That point being the "They're good" or the "Yeah, I like 'em" point. They're music can be defined as art-rock but they aren't as pretenious as Genesis or Yes. This is probably because Gavin Rossdale isn't that good of a singer. So they are technically grunge but really they stem from those art-house rock bands of the 70s.
Bush has a few songs that are near-classics like "Glycerine" or "Machinehead". They are songs readily identifiable but no one really knows the words or really cares what they mean. They always seem in the shadow of bigger acts like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Three Doors Down, or Everclear. They associate themselves as being the "British version of that one band". In a sense, Bush is popular for being unpopular which could give rise to a whole new definition of cool. Maybe those parents who think they are cool because they try not to be cool are, in fact, cool. Maybe they are cooler than thier kids according to the Bush Mystique.
A little side thought: What would happen if Rose McGowan and Gavin Rossdale got married? I think the world would end. Thier names are too similar. It would be a media frenzy. I'm sure some paparazzi is sitting by some super-clock with a massive erection counting down the days to when the two celebs get hitched. And it is certainly possible, the two are of equal celebrity standing. And McGowan has actually dated a rock star already so the change wouldn't be that drastic. But if they got married, I just couldn't handle everyone saying Rosa McGowan and Gavin Rossdale. I swear those names are anagrams or something wierd.
Bush has a few songs that are near-classics like "Glycerine" or "Machinehead". They are songs readily identifiable but no one really knows the words or really cares what they mean. They always seem in the shadow of bigger acts like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Three Doors Down, or Everclear. They associate themselves as being the "British version of that one band". In a sense, Bush is popular for being unpopular which could give rise to a whole new definition of cool. Maybe those parents who think they are cool because they try not to be cool are, in fact, cool. Maybe they are cooler than thier kids according to the Bush Mystique.
A little side thought: What would happen if Rose McGowan and Gavin Rossdale got married? I think the world would end. Thier names are too similar. It would be a media frenzy. I'm sure some paparazzi is sitting by some super-clock with a massive erection counting down the days to when the two celebs get hitched. And it is certainly possible, the two are of equal celebrity standing. And McGowan has actually dated a rock star already so the change wouldn't be that drastic. But if they got married, I just couldn't handle everyone saying Rosa McGowan and Gavin Rossdale. I swear those names are anagrams or something wierd.
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